What would the UK look like if John Cabot’s voyage went not from east to west across the Atlantic, but West to East?
Probably nothing like this but I was bored last night and hadn’t touched illustrator in awhile so I thought why not do a blog post that is bound to offend everyone who reads it? Apologies in advance.
- Has it’s own language
- Run by separatists
- Men put a disturbing amount of time/thought into their attire
- Cultural capital of UK, contains its most beautiful city
- Fantastically proficient at its national sport, terrible at soccer
- Tradition of flirting with Socialism
- Beautiful and full of lakes
- Home of the United Kanata’s Green movement
- Home of the UK’s best soccer team
- Bloody cold
- Home of the country’s indigenous people
- Invaded by Norse sailors
- People communicate by throat singing
- Lots of blubber
- Known for mining
- History of violent protests against the government
- Moustaches never went out of style
- People known for their friendliness
- Completely mad for national sport, despite being hopelessly shit at it
- Country’s middle
- Incest abounds on its fringes
- Parts of it are so flat, you can watch your dog run away for three days
- Everyone drives through it, nobody stops
- Hella ugly capital city (Second biggest city surprisingly awesome)
Newfoundland and Labrador
- Crazy accent
- So different from the other provinces, it’s almost like a different country
- Home of the country’s (now defunct) fishing industry.
- UK’s favourite pisstaking target. Inhabitants take it with good humour (to a point)
- A very musical race of people
- Home of UK’s biggest and most multicultural city
- Ontario’s largest city is the only city in UK that foreigners can name.
- The capital city used to be great at the country’s national sport, but is now pants
- Traditionally UK’s business hub, but efforts are afoot to spread wealth to other parts of the country.
- People who live in Ontario scarcely aware of the rest of the country’s existence.
- Does things their own way despite it not always being the right way
- Half-assed separation movement
- Home to UK’s largest onshore oilfield (Wytch Farm)
- Never votes Labour/Liberal
- UK’s most populace maritime province
- Nova Scotia translates literally to “New Scotland” and it’s erm kinda close to where Scotland was before Canada invaded and renamed it Quebec… sorry bit of a stretch
- Tiny and cute
- Only technically bilingual (French/English) province in confederation
- It’s the last province everyone names when listing them off
- No one lives there